l looked at my ceiling, in the darkness. My vision were blurry. All were looking shadowy with no ends, same like the amount of emptiness i have in my heart, the split&the broken which leads to nothing. Today is the 10th of nothing. But it means something to me as it marked the increasing level of my consciousness& how i suddenly realised that life is waiting for me to walk with my eyes wide open to look around the world, smiling and greet "hello life, are we good?". I deserve to be happy. All this while i am busy finding happiness which i try to create&resync like a role play. Trying to put so much effort until i realised i am not happy myself and i cried almost the 90% my life that passing by by trying so much & hoping so much more, and suddenly realised i am almost 26 in the near half of 2014. "Happiness comes the most when ure busy but not with rushed"-It comes naturally when you are ready, mentally to accept. U cannot draw happiness. U must feel it. Happiness is a desire. I cannot waste my time chasing for happiness when it was not there, or even try to push harder when really i know there isn't any answers. I am the root to be happy. I am today, realising that i have to live my life again, not by depending on others, but my own way to value the happiness that have no boundaries. Tears n laugh. I'm back, farina is back;trying to be me,the happy go lucky like i was before, where tears was really not my bestfriend-
only GOD knew why~
